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Don't Write These Words

In my college-going days, one of my Software Engineering courses had a professor who put a sound deal of emphasis on the documentation side of programming — the written description of the solution to the problem our software was trying to solve. For a wannabe English minor with a focus in grammar like myself, his courses were a nice break from all the number- and theory-oriented course load required of the curriculum. I don’t know if said professor is still teaching, and I’m not that concerned, but he was one of the ones who left me with something worth remembering, and that was his list of words we weren’t to use in our writing, the "bad words list." (Surprisingly or not, it’s one of those handouts I’ve held onto all these years later, and I still make some kind of effort not to include those words in my writing, but then I also chuckle a bit when I notice that I have included one.) Long story short, here’s the list as last updated in November 1997:

Bad Words List

Avoid using these words in documents and on tests. They convey little
information and won’t help the reader understand.

  • and/or, etc., misc.

    • It is always possible to re-write the sentence to remove these vague terms.

  • basically, basic

    • A common speech filler; in a document, it is of the same genre as generally and is basically unclear.

  • compatible

    • These are hundreds of different opinions on this word. Say what you mean.  (e.g. The computer must be able to run Doom.)

  • easy, easier, easiest, easily, simply, hard, harder, hardest

    • These are impossible to test. State some specific number to write a clear sentence.

  • efficient, more efficient, less efficient

    • Unless you are discussing furnaces, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • flexible, flexibility

    • Unless you are discussing gymnastics, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • quickly, more quickly, less quickly, fast, faster

    • Same problem as easy.

  • maximize, minimize, optimize

    • These are precise in mathematics; in English they are basically unclear.  State clearly what parameters you are trying to maximize or minimize.

  • module, modular, modularity

    • These terms have a wide variety of definitions, probably more than compatible.

  • user friendly

    • Are you kidding?

  • usually, generally, should, probably

    • These are all of the same, unclear, genre. Write what you mean.   Document readers hate these words.

  • very

    • If emphasis is needed, use a precise word.

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Don’t Write These Words

In my college-going days, one of my Software Engineering courses had a professor who put a sound deal of emphasis on the documentation side of programming — the written description of the solution to the problem our software was trying to solve. For a wannabe English minor with a focus in grammar like myself, his courses were a nice break from all the number- and theory-oriented course load required of the curriculum. I don’t know if said professor is still teaching, and I’m not that concerned, but he was one of the ones who left me with something worth remembering, and that was his list of words we weren’t to use in our writing, the "bad words list." (Surprisingly or not, it’s one of those handouts I’ve held onto all these years later, and I still make some kind of effort not to include those words in my writing, but then I also chuckle a bit when I notice that I have included one.) Long story short, here’s the list as last updated in November 1997:

Bad Words List

Avoid using these words in documents and on tests. They convey little
information and won’t help the reader understand.

  • and/or, etc., misc.

    • It is always possible to re-write the sentence to remove these vague terms.

  • basically, basic

    • A common speech filler; in a document, it is of the same genre as generally and is basically unclear.

  • compatible

    • These are hundreds of different opinions on this word. Say what you mean.  (e.g. The computer must be able to run Doom.)

  • easy, easier, easiest, easily, simply, hard, harder, hardest

    • These are impossible to test. State some specific number to write a clear sentence.

  • efficient, more efficient, less efficient

    • Unless you are discussing furnaces, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • flexible, flexibility

    • Unless you are discussing gymnastics, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • quickly, more quickly, less quickly, fast, faster

    • Same problem as easy.

  • maximize, minimize, optimize

    • These are precise in mathematics; in English they are basically unclear.  State clearly what parameters you are trying to maximize or minimize.

  • module, modular, modularity

    • These terms have a wide variety of definitions, probably more than compatible.

  • user friendly

    • Are you kidding?

  • usually, generally, should, probably

    • These are all of the same, unclear, genre. Write what you mean.   Document readers hate these words.

  • very

    • If emphasis is needed, use a precise word.

###

None Naked Writing

It’s been said, probably to others, but somewhere to me as well, that you can’t write anything that anyone will care to read until you learn to write nakedly.  To put yourself out there, and expose yourself in whatever it is you’re saying or sharing.  I don’t agree one hundred percent, but I agree enough to believe it.  Which isn’t to say that I can’t keep folks interested without taking off my pants, but only that people will only truly be interested when I show them my pant-less writing sessions.  That’s right, I have those posts but I’m not inclined nor obligated to post them. So it goes.

In the old days of Internet writing, when it was reasonable to be anonymous, I maintained pages of posts where I wrote more freely, but still kept the more honest words to myself.  Only to admit, my dearest compadres know where to read me. Perhaps someday I’ll be willing to share the same with all of you.   In the mean time, we’ll have to agree and settle on these words I place here.  No hard feelings, no lost emotions.  Just one opinion to another.

Assuming, though, that you’re not hear to read about things of which I’ve never written, but rather to figure out how to write better than you do now — know that exposing yourself is the path to faithful readers.  People want to relate to writers/others that are not perfect.  Share your stories, share your faults.  In the not so famous words of writer/rapper Ice Cube, "do your thang, man, fuck what they lookin’ at."

###

San Francisco Federal Reserve Building

I should have taken a picture while I was inside the building, but I didn’t.  Not sure why.  I took a load of other silly pictures while I was in SF yesterday and today.  But what I want is to know how any average citizen can get into the building if he isn’t supposed to be?  (I should have asked while I was there.)  They have a neat education center, called the Fed Center, where they have on display all the money that has ever been printed by the United States.  (Not each and ever dollar, but one of each style.)  Interesting to see how it’s changed over the years and also to read why it may have changed.  Like the Hawaii dollar during WWII — it would be easier to identify and remove from circulation in case Hawaii was invaded by Japan .

Anyhow, the point being that I’m not sure how it’s made available to the public.  (the education center.)  Security was tighter than trying to smuggle water onto an intercontinental flight.  Wait.  What?  Well you see what I mean.  I even had to ask someone to let me out of the building.  You can’t just walk in and out off the street, you need to have a badge of some sort.

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The Joy Of Entering Middle Life

I can’t really say what joyousness is to be expected about living in the realm of middle-lifehood.  I’m new to it.  I can say that other people seem always to be complaining about it, which I think is odd.  I’ve been telling people how excited I am to finally be old, because I am excited.  Now I can say and do things that I couldn’t do as my younger self, like tell folks I can’t be out late because I’m old and tired, drive slowly in the fast lane, or get up way too early on a Wednesday to do the grocery shopping.  (Let’s be honest, I’ve been doing most of these things for a while now, so not much will change.)

But even more exciting than any of that nonsense is the dating pool joke from Randall Munroe over at xkcd.  I get a kick out of every time I see it, so I’m sharing it here today with you.  It’s like a re-gift, except it wasn’t given directly to me, but, still, I choose to share it with you.

The downside to joking back with people calling me old is that when I tell them I’m excited about it, they get on about how I’m not really _that_ old.  It’s like they want to screw around either which way, but won’t just let me enjoy myself.  Sure, I’m not old, I am old, I’m whatever anyone needs me to be when it comes to defining age and body aches.  I’m up for the whole game.

So if this truly is the middle, then let me take a second and say thanks to all the folks that I’ve had the opportunity to meet, greet, and befriend during the first half of my existence.  I’ll be honest again and say it’s been a handful of head-smashingly strange times, but a perfect hoot.

Cheers!

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That Party Is Over

It’s been a good two weeks, having my brother home and all.  Logged a lot of family time and ate a month’s worth of home cooking in a very short amount of time.  (Dad and Mom make sure little brother gets many of his favorite meals.  We probably all gained a little weight, but it’s well worth it.)  Included two separate turkey dinners and a Tacos de Lengua feast last Saturday.  Which is to say, a lot of faces at the dinner table to show love.  I appreciate all them making time.  I’m thankful for that.  Much thanks to the parents, too!

Now, after my brother’s two week vacation, I need to rest.  You can bet we were busy late nearly every night visiting the local spots.  (Sorry, no pictures.  My camera never came out of its bag.)  I wasn’t on vacation so I had the joy of waking early to make my way to work.  I’m going to have a nap then see about paying my fine with the County library.  Seems I lost track of something.

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Real Human Moments?

I can’t say for sure how human were these real moments, but I can say that Thompology , KORe, and I made our way to Improv Everywhere’s latest MP3 experiment in San Francisco this past weekend held in the beautiful Mission Dolores Park.  The event, or experiment, involves quite a bit of human interaction, but most of it is very brief, and all of it is mostly scripted.  How real can your human moments be when they’re pre-written for you?

Don’t get me wrong, the event was a smashing good time, filled with moments of shaking, smiling, shading, rounded out with a gloriously epic balloon battle.  For forty-five minutes we, thanks to the Improv Everywhere folks, owned the park.  The innocent bystanders, in all their less-than-candid confusion, moved to the edges of the park to witness first hand the fun being had by several hundred MP3 Experiment participants.  Amazing, to say the least.  And for that same forty-five minutes, Thompology, KORe, and I owned the event.

It’s a pleasure to take part in something that one and a few others have spent so much time to orchestrate.  Improv Everywhere took their show on the road and invited anyone and everyone to take part.  All we needed was a colored shirt, a balloon, an umbrella, and a willingness to momentarily  relinquish our free will and restraint.  Sure, no problem.  Any opportunity to interrupt the food-eating of an unsuspecting couple is a registered good time in my book.  High-fives all around and, oh, can I hug your bike before I chase your tiny dog around the park.  Excuse me, I’m living an adventure here, please don’t interrupt.  But do enjoy the show.

I accept that the intent of the gathering is not to meet new people but to perform on a larger stage — I get it, I like it.  Except, I want to do it on my own terms and not in an effort to be anti-whatever.  (They slipped that in there at the end, but we’ll see how they play it on the final cut.)  I would much rather talk to strange people on the sidewalk than play thumb wars in a park with a person being told to engage.  There is nothing frightening or scary about doing what you’re told to do in a public setting that’s more than publicly acceptable.  There’s nothing to lose.  There’s nothing to gain.  I’m left sitting bored.

This isn’t meant as a cut on the Improv folks.  They’ve done a good thing, and they did it very well.  I’d encourage anyone interested or curious to give these guys a chance, interact in one of their shows, and definitely visit their web site to watch some of their past performances.  What I am trying to say, though, is that I expect a whole lot more from myself.  I eat these types of social activities for breakfast.  Meeting new people is not difficult.  Entertaining and confusing unsuspecting folks is not a challenge.  I require more.

Competitive Weight Loss Program

As an aside to my regular happenings, I joined my co-workers in a big fat loser competition.  We started last week and I weighed in at 187.4lbs.  Which is close to my actual naked weight of 180.6lbs.  The competition will last eight weeks (final weigh-in just before Thanksgiving break) and is percentage based.  I’m aiming for a ten pound loss, which is about five and a half percent either way.  (Right?  Someone help me with my math.  Thanks.)  We’ll have to *weight* and see how it goes.  Not sure if 5.5% is enough to be competitive against the rest of the office, but since there are no official rules and anything goes, I plan to bring donuts and cookies.  For them, not for me.

And that should be "big fat-loser", not "big fat loser."  It makes me laugh however you say it.  Which probably means we’re saying it wrong.  But you get the idea.

Wish me luck.  The winner gets $227.50 and second place gets $97.50.

Update: 10/3/08

Thompology has joined the competition .  Although his entry is an unofficial one, this will definitely add some entertainment to the compteition, and probably keep me more motiviated.  (Trash talking in real life is way different than trash talking in the office.)  Game on!  And, good luck.

My Blog Post Was Stolen

Honestly?  Yeah, it’s true.  I’ve had a post completely republished on another site without my consent and without any credit.  I’m not sure how to feel about it.  Initially I was shocked and upset, but what does any of that matter?  I went through a brief bit of flatteredness, then back to being upset, then off to do things in real life.  It’s all very funny.

I think it’s great that anyone would want to re-post something I’ve written.  Heck, I read some of my stuff and I want to re-post it.  But to re-post without crediting me or my web space is kind of silly.  Especially since I offer the re-use of my content for free under the creative commons license.  Why not throw back a little love?

But what really gets me riled up about all this is that the villainous site is ranking higher for my post in google searches for specific search terms.  Which shouldn’t bother me, because those search terms were not the point of my post, but I don’t like being out ranked — anywhere!

So I’ve written the site owners through the comments, as it seems that’s the only way to contact these people, and if there’s no reply then it’s a formal written complaint to the site owners citing sections of the DMCA and then another letter to the site’s hosting company citing more sections of the DMCA.

It’s tiresome.  All I really want is my name on the post; I took the time to live through the experience and then spent the time to write about it.  In any event, I’ll keep creating and they can keep stealing.  But no, I’m not saying where my post is published.  I don’t want to send them any more traffic.

You’ll want to read it hear first!

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Be Clear Be Obvious

The downside to not being on the ball and taking immediate action when it hits you is that someone else is probably going to beat you to the punch.  Maybe they’ll do a better or worse job, maybe they’ll do exactly the same job.  But they’re doing the job, and you’re left to kick yourself in a crowded parking lot at two in the morning on a Tuesday night inevitably asking yourself, "How the fuck did I let this happen?"  I don’t know.

Shortly after finishing a nine-month-long leadership course in 2007 I quit my then current job and started working with Thompology in a tiny attempt to find personal freedom.  This got me to start thinking about marketing which lead me to thinking about branding.  Sadly, I didn’t fully understand either until it was too late.  However, I did eventually coin the term "Be Clear.  Be Obvious." for my personal slogan, and I never shared it with anyone, at least not until early August 2008 when I shouted it out while jay walking across a street in Portland, Oregon at two in the afternoon.  (Why then?  I don’t know.)  So there it was.  My mantra.

Not even a full week after returning from Portland, Mr. Calacanis was at it again with his newsletter and emails a four thousand plus word writeup about PR and sums up his branding philosophy in six little words, "be amazing, be everywhere, be real."  Talk about very strange timing.  The only proof I have that I said mine first is the couple of witnesses jay walking with me, and I won’t incriminate them.

Essentially, it took Jason six words to say what I said in four.  Except I forgot the most important piece — "be amazing."  Very crucial and probably the part I take most for granted, which is likely why I completely glossed over it.

Calacanis has been at this quite a bit longer than I have, but that’s not a good excuse.  So take what you can from what either of us said, and learn your lesson.  Be Clear Be Obvious and to drive home what JCal said, be totally fucking amazing.  The rest will follow.