Tag Archives: Nonsense

Teeth, Behind The Curve

Teeth.  Mammalian teeth.  My teeth.  Don’t make any sense.  Given the advanced state of technology, where I can have face-to-face conversations with folks thousands of miles around the world with a couple clicks on my mouse and such, why are we (humans) still required to be so involved in the upkeep of our teeth?  Or is it that food hasn’t devolved to a point where we can benefit from it without actually having to interact with it?

Seriously, though, I don’t mind brushing my teeth, flossing, and rinsing with that blue crap that burns, but I don’t understand why we have so many tiny nooks, crannies, and crevices (redundant) that are more than a hassle to maintain.  By comparison, staying physically fit is a walk in the park…literally.

Saliva, on the other hand, is very cool, and seemingly far more advanced.  But probably still a little behind the curve only because we’re advancing tooth-decay products faster than we can reproduce.  (Hardly the point.)

I want to see, in the next couple hundred years, a smooth set of continuous teeth (upper and lower), really a top tooth and a bottom tooth — narrow near the front and wider at the back, just like we have now — without all the gaps and such.  This is more important than going without the little toe, so let’s make it happen.  People everywhere will be the happier for it, eventually.

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Don't Write These Words

In my college-going days, one of my Software Engineering courses had a professor who put a sound deal of emphasis on the documentation side of programming — the written description of the solution to the problem our software was trying to solve. For a wannabe English minor with a focus in grammar like myself, his courses were a nice break from all the number- and theory-oriented course load required of the curriculum. I don’t know if said professor is still teaching, and I’m not that concerned, but he was one of the ones who left me with something worth remembering, and that was his list of words we weren’t to use in our writing, the "bad words list." (Surprisingly or not, it’s one of those handouts I’ve held onto all these years later, and I still make some kind of effort not to include those words in my writing, but then I also chuckle a bit when I notice that I have included one.) Long story short, here’s the list as last updated in November 1997:

Bad Words List

Avoid using these words in documents and on tests. They convey little
information and won’t help the reader understand.

  • and/or, etc., misc.

    • It is always possible to re-write the sentence to remove these vague terms.

  • basically, basic

    • A common speech filler; in a document, it is of the same genre as generally and is basically unclear.

  • compatible

    • These are hundreds of different opinions on this word. Say what you mean.  (e.g. The computer must be able to run Doom.)

  • easy, easier, easiest, easily, simply, hard, harder, hardest

    • These are impossible to test. State some specific number to write a clear sentence.

  • efficient, more efficient, less efficient

    • Unless you are discussing furnaces, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • flexible, flexibility

    • Unless you are discussing gymnastics, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • quickly, more quickly, less quickly, fast, faster

    • Same problem as easy.

  • maximize, minimize, optimize

    • These are precise in mathematics; in English they are basically unclear.  State clearly what parameters you are trying to maximize or minimize.

  • module, modular, modularity

    • These terms have a wide variety of definitions, probably more than compatible.

  • user friendly

    • Are you kidding?

  • usually, generally, should, probably

    • These are all of the same, unclear, genre. Write what you mean.   Document readers hate these words.

  • very

    • If emphasis is needed, use a precise word.

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Don’t Write These Words

In my college-going days, one of my Software Engineering courses had a professor who put a sound deal of emphasis on the documentation side of programming — the written description of the solution to the problem our software was trying to solve. For a wannabe English minor with a focus in grammar like myself, his courses were a nice break from all the number- and theory-oriented course load required of the curriculum. I don’t know if said professor is still teaching, and I’m not that concerned, but he was one of the ones who left me with something worth remembering, and that was his list of words we weren’t to use in our writing, the "bad words list." (Surprisingly or not, it’s one of those handouts I’ve held onto all these years later, and I still make some kind of effort not to include those words in my writing, but then I also chuckle a bit when I notice that I have included one.) Long story short, here’s the list as last updated in November 1997:

Bad Words List

Avoid using these words in documents and on tests. They convey little
information and won’t help the reader understand.

  • and/or, etc., misc.

    • It is always possible to re-write the sentence to remove these vague terms.

  • basically, basic

    • A common speech filler; in a document, it is of the same genre as generally and is basically unclear.

  • compatible

    • These are hundreds of different opinions on this word. Say what you mean.  (e.g. The computer must be able to run Doom.)

  • easy, easier, easiest, easily, simply, hard, harder, hardest

    • These are impossible to test. State some specific number to write a clear sentence.

  • efficient, more efficient, less efficient

    • Unless you are discussing furnaces, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • flexible, flexibility

    • Unless you are discussing gymnastics, this word is vague. Say
    what you mean.

  • quickly, more quickly, less quickly, fast, faster

    • Same problem as easy.

  • maximize, minimize, optimize

    • These are precise in mathematics; in English they are basically unclear.  State clearly what parameters you are trying to maximize or minimize.

  • module, modular, modularity

    • These terms have a wide variety of definitions, probably more than compatible.

  • user friendly

    • Are you kidding?

  • usually, generally, should, probably

    • These are all of the same, unclear, genre. Write what you mean.   Document readers hate these words.

  • very

    • If emphasis is needed, use a precise word.

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Nano Blogging, The New Mirco Blog

When 140 characters is just too much to read or furnish, there’s the new 26-character, nano-blog alternative. Flutter.  Take a peak, leave a Flap:

If Flutter’s too much, take peace of mind in knowing we’re months away from Flutter intern Laura’s new 10-character service Shttr.  All the benefits of Flutter, but without the vowels.  Talk about quick, efficient communication.  No longer will quips be outdated by the time you finish reading them!

All seriousness aside, "share your thoughts – brie"

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None Naked Writing

It’s been said, probably to others, but somewhere to me as well, that you can’t write anything that anyone will care to read until you learn to write nakedly.  To put yourself out there, and expose yourself in whatever it is you’re saying or sharing.  I don’t agree one hundred percent, but I agree enough to believe it.  Which isn’t to say that I can’t keep folks interested without taking off my pants, but only that people will only truly be interested when I show them my pant-less writing sessions.  That’s right, I have those posts but I’m not inclined nor obligated to post them. So it goes.

In the old days of Internet writing, when it was reasonable to be anonymous, I maintained pages of posts where I wrote more freely, but still kept the more honest words to myself.  Only to admit, my dearest compadres know where to read me. Perhaps someday I’ll be willing to share the same with all of you.   In the mean time, we’ll have to agree and settle on these words I place here.  No hard feelings, no lost emotions.  Just one opinion to another.

Assuming, though, that you’re not hear to read about things of which I’ve never written, but rather to figure out how to write better than you do now — know that exposing yourself is the path to faithful readers.  People want to relate to writers/others that are not perfect.  Share your stories, share your faults.  In the not so famous words of writer/rapper Ice Cube, "do your thang, man, fuck what they lookin’ at."

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Luigi's Pizza By The Slice

Get there before it closes and check out the fungarden, if you’re into that sort of thing.  Otherwise, just enjoy the pizza.

Update: When I wrote this, I meant get to convey that people should get to Luigi’s before it closed for the night, not before it closed indefinitely. As far as I know, they are doing quite well and are in no danger of shutting their doors for good.  A slice and a soda is still the way to go.

Luigi’s Pizza By The Slice

Get there before it closes and check out the fungarden, if you’re into that sort of thing.  Otherwise, just enjoy the pizza.

Update: When I wrote this, I meant get to convey that people should get to Luigi’s before it closed for the night, not before it closed indefinitely. As far as I know, they are doing quite well and are in no danger of shutting their doors for good.  A slice and a soda is still the way to go.

Is It Still February?

I’ve been playing this game for almost a month now, thankfully the shortest, and I’m ready for it to be over.  NaBloPoMo runs this idea where to participate you have to post every day for a whole month or you’re out.  I like the idea in concept but there are times when I’m behind and then the writing/posting feels more like work than sharing.  Which is to say, "Either I’m not making enough time, or this isn’t worth my time."  But don’t quote me on that.  I will say that having been forced to write every day, I have definitely said some things I didn’t think I would have otherwise said.  For sure.

On the other hand, what NaBloPoMo forgets is that while I may not be blogging everyday I’m still writing every day.  Whether it’s to my email list, my pen pals, or my notebook — one way or another the words are coming out.  Of course, public writing is much different.  Indeed.

A few more days, then it’s back to a somewhat irregular posting pattern.  As was the Interweb meant to be.

P.S. I should add that this month’s theme is "want".  Right now I want this month to be over, because March is one of my favorite months and I’m anxious to celebrate it.

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What's The Point?

It doesn’t count to blag everyday if you’re not going to take it seriously and write something you’ve thought about, right?  Except, you can’t write it without first thinking, even if only long enough to get the message from your head to your fingers.  So it goes.